Friday 29 April 2011

Leaving Work Late





It takes me an incredible amount of energy to start working.  Once I get that energy, however, it is takes an even more incredible amount of energy to STOP WORKING. 


You may have experienced this before.  

Your morning starts off pretty pathetically.  You may have arrived to work late, and much to your displeasure, important persons notice.  The coffee machine at work may be broken.  You might just be a little distracted and pass the time chatting on the internet.  You might hate your job and spend hours thinking about how you’ll survive the next minute.  



 


You tell yourself not to worry because it’s only the morning.  You have more than half of the workday to shape up and be productive.

But by the time you wake up from your procrastination-reverie, it’s already late afternoon. You realize only now that you have some sort of important deadline to meet.





It is at this point that the panic sets in, a panic that induces a very serious and powerful combination of motivation and productivity.




And so you set out to work with the determination of Mahatma Gandhi. 

Time goes by, and by some miracle, you have somehow garnered the strength and discipline to ignore the gnawing emptiness in your stomach. 

At this point, you have become the Mahatma.  

Yes.  You are hunger striking. Against laziness and procrastination.




You work some more.  Your cell phone rings from some concerned friend or family member, but you ignore it.  You must persevere! There is work to be done and you are brimming with energy to doggedly complete your task.  

And then it sinks in.  The boundless energy and productivity that was coursing through your veins disappears without a trace.  The most compound form of lethargy settles into your body. You feel weak. You feel tired. You feel incredibly old and drained of vitality. Your stomach feels like it will implode or spontaneously combust.You wonder how you’ll carry yourself out of the office, let alone travel back to your home.  And you don’t even want to think about what obstacles you’ll have to endure to procure your much-needed dinner.




Against all odds, you somehow manage to make it.  You have somehow gotten home, eaten, and you are now in bed.  As you lie in bed, you vow to never work so late again.  That is, until the next morning, when you forget about this and do it all over again.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve spent too many evenings like this. 
I’m a very visual person.  And contrary to what I’ve said in this post, I am a very proactive person.  That said, I’ve come up with an action plan to stop myself from entering this vicious circle of laziness-induced productivity that leaves me working late into the evening. 

And here it is.  The next time you find yourself in a manic productivity state and it’s late, it may be beneficial to engrave this into your memory.  I hope it helps.





The End!

Introducing Punjabi Dude and the Royal Wedding



This is Punjabi Dude.

Punjabi Dude is cool.

So cool that you secretly want to earn his respect.

However,

If you are infatuated with the marriage of William and Kate and you were not invited to the wedding or related to William or Kate, you have officially earned the disinterest of Punjabi Dude.  

Shame.  

Shame on you.

Monday 25 April 2011

I HEART: LEGO!

  
LEGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


These here are my latest Legos.  Bummykins got me the Harry Potter Hogwarts Set for Valentine's Day. BEST GIFT EVER. Hagrid's house follows.  It was not so great.  I'd say Hagrid's Hut was a ripoff.  Do not buy. BUT LEGOS ARE STILL AWESOME, THE END!




Lego Review: Hogwarts Castle #4842
 

Interior View: Hogwarts Castle

Play Experience: 3/5
Value for Money: 1/5
Quality:4/5
Detail: 5/5


Although the set is labeled appropriate for children 8-14 years old, I consider this product extremely fun for someone in her 20s.

Having some years of Lego-play experience under our belts, my partner and I had loads of nostalgic fun assembling this set. We were pleased to see the straight-forward manner of the instructions. The quality of the set, and its parts, and the details were also notable. For instance, the tables of the great hall can be decorated with a turkey, cake, croissant, and cherries, and the hall also includes two seats for professors, and a podium for Dumbledore. The vanishing cabinet doors are also well detailed, and the "stained glass" on the sides of the great hall are all nice finishing touches to the set.

My first qualm with this set is the most obvious: it is far too expensive. The second shortcoming to this set is that some of the rooms are a bit too small for play. For instance, the common rooms don't afford mobility beyond the two swivel chairs provided, the "forbidden section" of the library leaves much to be desired, and the trophy room is slightly awkward for play. My last criticism of the set is that it excludes some important minifigures, such as Ron, Malfoy, and Fawkes (since when is Dumbledore's office complete without his beloved phoenix?).

Qualms aside, if you are willing to fork out a pretty penny for the sake of good fun, by all means, this set is worth hours of imaginative fun.

Exterior View: Hogwarts Castle

Lego Review: Hagrid's Hut #4738


Exterior View: Hagrid's Hut


Play Experience: 2/5
Value for Money: 1/5
Quality: 3/5
Detail: 4/5

The most exciting aspect about this set is the light-up brick. Beyond that, I find it hard to justify the playability of this set with the price.

Interior View: Hagrid's Hut

Friday 22 April 2011

You know your friend hates you when…


You know your friend is a passive-aggressive coward who secretly hates you and indirectly wants to stab you in the back when he invites you over to his place when he’s sick and he only reveals this information upon your arrival.



It’s not that I think my friends really do secretly hate me.  Perhaps the reason they invite me over when they are deathly contagious is because they love me SO much that they want to spend their last moments on Earth with me. Like somehow, my presence will lift them out of their dreary state and bring to fruition their wildest dreams.  And double-bacon cheeseburgers. 



Perhaps I really should be flattered.  

But I’m not. 

Shouldn’t real friends have the decency to consider that I, too, have a life, and that I, too, would like to live my life free of unnecessary illness? 

Getting sick unleashes a very evil and hurtful domino effect of negativity.  If I get sick, I can’t go to work.  If I can’t go to work, I can’t teach my students.  If I can’t teach my students, they will inevitably fail.  If they fail, their lives will be ruined. POSSIBLY FOREVER.



Seriously.  No one can be THAT inconsiderate.  Especially people who are sweet and kind and magical and wonderful under normal conditions. Another theory must be considered.  And I think I’ve found it. 

(Or at least I’ve convinced myself of this obvious lie so that I can remain friends with certain individuals who would otherwise be considered DECEPTIVE AND COWARDLY INCONSIDERATE ASSHOLES)

Here goes.

So. It’s not that I really think my friends are evil.  No.  They are in fact, innocent and lovely beings who have become prey to a power much larger than them.  The only logical reason for their deception and inconsiderate invitations to their germ-incubation-nests is this: they have been possessed.  Satan has coerced them into wreaking biological warfare.  Because Satan has an illogical desire to spread misery. 



This is the only way I’ve been able to make sense of this otherwise senseless situation.

So please.  If you’re reading this blog, all that I ask is you heed this message.  Do not let yourself slide into the horrible Land of Failcakes.  Do not be a bad friend, neighbour, parent, or lover.  Be kind and if you are sick SAY NO TO SATAN. JUST. Say no.

The end.



Love, Sick Sharmycakes



Thursday 21 April 2011

Twisted Nightmare

Sickness-Induced Partial-Insomnia Proudly Presents:

The Consequence...

of not finding my  posts UTTERLY AWESOME:



 A Bummykins Shall Be Sacrificed.