PROJECT SECRET FRIENDSHIP RENEWAL: Unveiled!

I fell out with one of my oldest and closest friends a little more than a year ago, and to be quite honest, the experience crushed me. 

We always got along amazingly well until the friendship took a toll for the worst, quite unexpectedly.  It seemed conclusive that our long-lasting and otherwise easy-going friendship was officially at its end.  It was a hurtful experience for us both, and even with a mediator trying to get us to overlook our differences, we just couldn’t see eye to eye.

Recently, our mutual best friend (also our mediator) got married, and we got in contact again.  Judging from our conversations, I think that it might be possible to … MIGHT… to rekindle the friendship.  I am just really, really scared of hurting her again or getting hurt and of her rejecting my genuine attempt to befriend her. 

So because our words failed us the past, and because we are mutually not very appreciative of cheesiness (ok, I do but only when it comes to my boyfriend), I think I’ll take a gentle, non-threatening approach to attempt to befriend her.

I call this gentle, non-threatening approach

PROJECT SECRET FRIENDSHIP RENEWAL.

OK. It is not secret anymore.  But it will be secret to her! 

This project will have several stages, and I will require much courage to follow through with it, seeing that I am really scared of feeling rejected by her and feeling that she doesn’t care.

The first stage will be to send her a holiday craft in the mail.  It will be fashioned in the likelihood of an illustration she drew with me at our friend’s bridal shower.  Yes, she also draws dinosaurs.  At grown-up events.  Hers was a stegosaurus with feathers for plates.  I hope she will like it and not throw it in the trash :(

Should I write something like this attached to the dino craft I made?

I guess we’ll see where all this goes.  I think the pain is still there for us both, but I am ready to at least try again.  I don’t know what or when or even if there will be a phase 2 of PROJECT SECRET FRIENDSHIP RENEWAL (what if I get hurt againnnn), but I know I have to be strong and just TRY.  I honestly want to do things right and I want her to know that I am willing to let the past go.

Um. Yeah.  That was kind of… personal.  Guess all I can do is stay positive and keep trying!!!

Or should I just write this?  I don't know!!!